Two.

Happy 2!

It's been awhile since this blog's been updated with new entries.

Everything's going pretty fine now as we move into a brand new year, school's starting and courses beginning.

One reason to celebrate and welcome the new year and another to mark just yet another milestone for us.

Reflecting back, it's not been that smooth a ride. The past year was filled with many Ups and Downs, yet as we proceeded into our 1st year, many of the conflicts that were encountered changed. I guess it's kinda normal that as the relationship matures, the expectations gets higher for one another. Progressively but surely, I'm sure we'd be able to achieve our goals.

I really do not know what to expect for the next year but nevertheless, I shall take things as they come to us.

As with things in life, nothing stays the same or rather, to put it in another way, change is the only constant. As each of us moves on into different phases of our lives, the way of life is definitely going to be different, another year from now and things will be different once again.

Into 2 and hopefully many more to come. Our celebrations have always been very toned down, somehow maybe i prefer peace and spending the moment with each other is more than enough. No doubt this year we had a little surprise, for the first time, someone celebrated it together and bought cakes for us. I didn't expect anyone to actually buy cakes for us to celebrate our anniversary, still, it was very thoughtful and I really appreiciate it.

The day was no doubt very satisfying, nothing spectacular, but enough to make it feel special for me. Happy 2!

Out of Training

The life of a recruit can be nothing else other than "Outstanding". There's nothing more to the word itself than its own form of standardised formality.

The Army in its own essense is, "Outstanding"

They say the recruit is the lowest of this millitary hierarchy. But, unbeknownst, a lower level emerges in the form of an "Out Of Training" recruit (or OOT in short). This would be better to the previous batches and older generations as "Out Of Course" (or OOC).

With this pedge of namesake, a slew of responsibilities ensue. Sai Kang warriors, they say.

Once knighted with a plastic Name Card holder with a card bearing the words "OOT", you are introduced beyond the world of brooms, dustpans and rubbish dumps. You no longer attend 5BX and any other activity scheduled after the First Parade. After the Company strength has been taken, you'd automatically disappear from your platoon and make your way to the Company office where you await Honorable Duties to be bestowed upon you.

The following are classifiable as Honorable Duties:

1) Racking leaves in the field
2) Getting rid of bags of trash
3) Filling up 80 bottles of Jerry Cans
4) Lifting up 80 bottles of filled Jerry Cans
5) Washing the toilets
7) Providing tough labor at events, and
8) Any other demeaning chores you can think of

Day by day, you find yourself awaiting your very own version of the Golden Ticket.

The Golden Ticket; It's the luxury of booking out earlier and booking in late- only affordable by those who score silver and above for the IPPT tests.

Your Golden Ticket, however, is unexpected and comes in an email in the form of an excel sheet. They call this the posting order. If you're lucky, you'd get it even before the end of 2 weeks. If you're not, then maybe a month or more.

No more POP, Reveiles, Area Cleanings and Routine Orders. It's then time to pack your duffle bag- stuffed with your LBV, helmet and etc.

Your last worry now is- "Is it stay-out or stay-in?"

Outfield Camp..

It really bothers me. The past one month was tough for us, torturous in fact.

Juggling emotions along with studies is anything but easy, to top it off, there were two test to mug for in that week alone. Completing this task at the end of that week totally drained me. A long time in years that I've actually reached such a state.

I've count myself really lucky to get a away with good grades from the tests. Nevertheless, it was comforting to know that there are many many people who took effort to encourage and make sure that i was feeling fine. I really appreciate all the efforts in someway or another.

Now, comes another replica of what I've encountered last month. Completing the first of my 3 paper exams yesterday was a big relief. Firstly, it wasn't a paper that you could study blindly. Secondly, memorising facts for this paper won't guarantee a good grade as well. Thus, this could be said as the paper that I've felt least confident about.

To look at the faces of my friends panicking and discussing about the important points was really intimidating, I do not even understand or remember anything like that when I studied. Inside me, it felt as though I did not put in enough effort for this paper, everything in my mind was collapsing. Me, being me, as always, decided I should just stray away from my friend's discussion to somewhere quiet and begin to get myself back into a positive state of mind.

It worked somehow.

One of them came to me and said "Eh, you look so confident la!". That helped i guess. Though there was this one other thing which would definitely lift me up from any situation. It's this thing called Posting Order.

No I don't like Posting Orders. I'd like it much better when that someone receives it and tells it to me in a joyous voice. Oh well, that didn't happen. But still I managed to struggle and arrange myself back in order.

Anyhow, i managed to get the paper done with much ease, the writing, the idea, the structure, everything was flowing with the help of a certain image of someone in mind.

Two more papers to go, and I still have to go through 1 more paper without someone (for now). It's tough when most of the motivation comes from this source. I'd have to go through another 6 days, hopefully lesser, before my motivation can be back to a comfortable level.

All in all, I know I won't be seeing him this weekend, which usually i would be able to. Moving from an almost daily meeting to once or twice a week is already bad enough. And just when I am slowly getting used to this weekly meeting, I have to re-adjust the timings for this week.

All the things that happened the past few days should not have happened, really. The reason why this happened?

Look at the title of this post.

And yes, I really do miss you alot dearest.

Silhouette

I dreamt beyond red bricked roads
and 10 world wonders,
spent 2 weeks in silence, blanketed
by the boredom of seclusion.

I wondered deep in thought,
plummaging through piles of memories;
to stand there in a storm,
your body silhoutte to mine.
And our lips locked.

It was all in a single thought,
to have touched your hair
and smelled your Lacoste;
a dream it was,
a beautiful and silent one.
Now remembering the details,
vivid as it was,
and I see it spells
How much I missed you.

Duty Calls

I'll be gone for 2 weeks, or maybe more..

I Love You

I know it's a dream
standing amidst the shadows
frigidly on the wooden pier-
my left arm stretched out
polite but longing
angered and sad, but
still lingering;
Lingering for one more touch
for another kiss
for another excuse-
to stay and see your lips
spell out the words,"I love You"

But it's just a current
in my brain,
a mixture of images
and memories-
it still hurts like
a needle in my heart.
I'm laying down
next to you (your hand in mine)
with my lips at your ears;
I'm whispering your name
whispering, "I love you"

Waiting 2

I remember sitting still on the same red truck with yellow wheels; wheeling it back and forth with the little strength my small legs had.

I remember listening to the whispers gathering amongst the teachers. They crowded by a wooden round end table- a deep rose red end table. They were crowded around a teacher who had the phone by her ear…

Whispering…

Sitting there, I looked towards them crying out Mummy…

Where are you? I must have thought.

It wasn’t long till a red car had parked itself by the gate of the nursery. I must have recognized it as I remember looking at it longingly.

Mummy?

Mummy? No.

Daddy’s here…Daddy’s here angel.

I was confused and angry- I must have been angry. I remember muttering Mummy…

Where are you Mummy?

Daddy looked at me, his hands grabbing my arms tightly. Mummy can’t come…